International Women's Day

Breastfeeding is hard. You would think something that is so natural would be easy, but it's not. Moms-to-be are warned, but it's not until you have the tiny screaming human in your arms and you just can't get them to latch, does the reality of the difficulties hit you. 

Breastfeeding never quite worked with Owen. Looking back there were numerous factors that made it so it didn't happen: trauma from an emergency c-section, a hospital that didn't prioritize breastfeeding, and Owen's health problems to name a few. I remember feeling guilty and a little ashamed I couldn't make it work. But in hindsight, it really didn't matter that he was mainly formula fed. Owen is strong, healthy, and knows he is loved. 

Breastfeeding has worked out with Wyatt, kind of. He's a 100% breastmilk baby but not 100% breast fed. It was/is still difficult this time around, but I was more prepared and have more support.

I don't have it in me to exclusively breastfeed. I want Ed's help for the cluster feedings and late nights. I don't like to breastfeed around people or in public. I take the extra time to pump, and I breastfeed when it works for me and Wyatt. I have come to accept that's the kind of mom I am.

So in honor of International Women's Day, I am celebrating the fact that I have provided breastmilk to my little chunk of a child for 12 weeks. If I can keep going, great. If not, I'm proud of what I accomplished, and I know Wyatt will be healthy just like his brother.