Saturday, June 21, 2008

Open Letter to Mom and Dad

Mom and Dad:

I would very much like to discuss the topic of my cheeks and their quality of supposed "squeezeability."  First off, I'm not one hundred percent that squeezability is a word, so if you would, please refrain from using it as my cheeks' predominant characteristic.  Secondly, and arguably more importantly, please stop squeezing my cheeks.  As you can plainly see, it scares the hell out of me.  If I derived any enjoyment from this activity, I assure you, I would not bring this subject to your attention.  Unfortunately, this is not the case.  My hope is that this menacing activity stops for the betterment of our entire family.  

Yours,
Owen

P.S. Let's try not to get our attorneys involved in this.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Okay, as cute as it is to squeeze his cheeks, let us agree . . . squeezability is not actually a word.

It's close to a word, but it's not actually a word. And so, let's also agree, it's not helpful to scare my client (that would be my grandson to you).

He's mentioned this to me several times, scaring him is not helpful, so . . . you can only squeeze his cheeks if it doesn't actually scare him. Otherwise, you'll have to appear in court to explain why he must be scared when you squeeze his cheeks.

It's all very complicated, it's better that you know he should never be scared. Take this from his legal representative (aka as Grandma Bug . . . )

Tammy said...

Too cute! His cheeks really are very squeezable and would be hard to resist. Just consider it advanced payback for all the times in the next 20+ years that he'll scare the hell out of you guys . He'll definately get his revenge. And then some.

Anonymous said...

ha ha ha ha ha (I can laugh since I'm not the one getting my cheeks PINCHED! .... That's the word you are looking for)
Love Great Grandma M

Anonymous said...

In reference to the word "squeezability: I can assure you it is a word, Its been handed down for generations in this family!! Think of all the chubby cheek people we have in our clan! How can it not be a word. I am all for the squeezing of cheeks! So, I would like to put in a great aunt request, please squeeze those chubbs for me!!!
Love and squeezes Great Aunt Maryann